Moment of Eternity
by The Perfect Drain
Summary: Is Tobias running out of time or sanity? *POV, angsty, implied slash*


DISCLAIMER: I lay no claim to characters portrayed here. It's Miss Applegate's, it is. As for the situations? Ummm... let's just say there was nothing like this in the books. If something similar has been done before, I'm sorry, and I swear I didn't steal the idea. *sniff* I'm just not very original, is all...  
  
RATING: I'm giving this a PG-13, but if anyone complains, I'll make it an R. Contains implied slashy relations (s-e-x), a dirty word or two. Slightly loony POV piece. I like how most of it turned out. You don't get it? Don't flame... go out, get some taste, THEN tell me it sucks.  
  
Don't whine if you're underage or if guys with guys gives you a wiggins, and you read it anyway. If you're underage, read it, and liked it... um, *cough*, that's um, very bad. Extremely bad. (So drop me a review. )  
  
  
  
*  
  
  
  
Time.  
  
Is it only me that's pissed off time?  
  
Demorph! DEMORPH! Never stay in morph for more than two hours. Two hours. Two hours. How long has it been, Tobias? Two hours. More than two hours. TWO HOURS. Three days without Kandrona rays. YEERKS. Your time is up, Elfangor. Hey, there's a meeting at eight, Cassie's barn...be there, okay? Are you going to stay up all night? Be in bed by seven, you have a test in the morning. Hey, you, kid. How old are you? Shhh. Don't cry. I'm never going to leave you, Tobias. Mommy's always going to be here for you. Mom? MOM! Shut up, you little shit. You're going to your aunt's house tomorrow.  
  
It's all the time, all the time in my time is time...  
  
Time has it in for me. I made it angry somehow. TIME is out to get to me. No, that's silly... time doesn't think. Time isn't a creature. Time doesn't KNOW anything.  
  
But TIME rules my life. Shouldn't it have some reason? Shouldn't TIME have a body, a face?  
  
Oopsie, stayed in morph too long, you're a bird. BIRD. Oh! You can be human again! BOY. But don't stay too long, or you'll be useless.  
  
USELESS.  
  
Useless. Out of the fight. Out of the fight that's cost me more than anything else. It's cost me the slightest chance of a home. The slightest chance of a normal life. It killed my father, killed me... his TIME was up. My TIME is useless. Whoops! You've run out of TIME. Please try again. Try keeping an eye on the clock next TIME. Time. Timetimetimetime...oh god oh god...  
  
(Time isn't that important. Hush, little one.)  
  
"Ohhh...Tobias..."  
  
But then, time holds sway over everything, doesn't it?  
  
I run my trembling fingers along the smooth flesh and my hand comes away with a sheen of sweat.  
  
This body will crumble to dust and be forgotten, in time...  
  
(But not now.)  
  
A stifled gasp.  
  
People just have to be ON TIME. Gotta get to that appointment. Hell, gotta get out of bed in the morning. It's time to get up. GET UP!  
  
Sometimes I think I may be going insane. MAY? Hell, I'm a bird-boy! Given TIME, maybe I'll have to be locked up! As a bird? As a boy? As both! For how long? For the rest of my life! And damn, that's a long time!  
  
I laugh softly.  
  
"Mmm... What's so funny?"  
  
"The usual. I'm going insane. Ohh god, keep doing that..."  
  
A teasing smile, before the gap between us is suddenly less. My mouth is now too occupied to keep chuckling.  
  
Then we all run out of time, don't we?  
  
Stillborn. I'm stillborn and stilllive and stilldie. We all still die. We die when we run out of time. Time is running out. Our time is almost up. Time...  
  
(Time is all there is.)  
  
I moan his name, tact thrown to the wind with my decency. I am quickly shushed. We musn't get caught. But this isn't wrong. It can't be.  
  
(It's the only thing that makes any sense anymore.)  
  
Maybe I should die. Then I wouldn't know time. Would I? I wouldn't know anything.  
  
Just my luck if there's a heaven.  
  
(Wait. Just wait a little while, sweetie. Hold on.)  
  
Breath is coming quickly. I shudder. It's gotten cold out. Blades of grass scratch my bare back. There's a rock pressing into my shoulder, but I don't care.  
  
I'm not thinking about the rock, the cold, the sharp grass.  
  
I'm not thinking about WHEN or IF Rachel and the others will find out.  
  
I'm not thinking about WHEN I'll die or WHEN I'm going to give up on the hawk or the boy.  
  
I'm not thinking about the morning and how SOON it is and how he'll be back to walking the line between funny and cruel that always seems to jab the wrong way and how he may hate me for the rest of his time or mine.  
  
I'm not thinking about whether it's been more than two hours or more than two minutes.  
  
I'm thinking about my breath hanging above me, clouding and fading in the night air, and the warm body on mine, and then it's just ME and it's just HIM.  
  
For a second. A minute.  
  
(For an iota of a piece of)  
  
TIME  
  
I feel a moment  
  
(moment of ETERNITY...)  
  
Just past the shadowy blackness of the trees, I see a dark blue abyss. I feel like I'm falling into it, spinning and tumbling.  
  
I hope I can grab hold of a star. 


End file.
